Saturday, March 26, 2011

Crack Fic: Chapter Four

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three

When we last left our crack fic.....

Amelia stared at Rory, then at Eleven, then Handy (her gaze lingered slightly longer on him). Then her brow furrowed in confusion. "Wait...why are you all so tall?" Then she looked down at herself and shrieked. "I'm a little girl! I'm...I'm 10 again!" She stormed over and attempted to get in Eleven's face, but seemed to suddenly realize that now, she only reached to mid-chest level. She settled for poking him hard in the stomach. "WHY AM I 10 AGAIN, DOCTOR?"

"I don't know."

"I did it," Little Donna explained. "I spent my entire life around grown ups. Daddy with his stupid space junk. Mommy with her drugs. I want a friend my own age."

Rory, the two Doctors, and Amelia looked at Donna. This girl had more power than they we comfortable with.

"Let's go find the playground." Donna demanded.

"No, we need to stay in the TARDIS and get Amy sorted out." Rory said.

"Are you new or something? The playground is the best part of this old box."

"Okay, okay let's not argue." The Doctor said, trying his best to defuse the situation," Handy you take Donna to the playground, it's improved a lot since the revamp, the swings especially." As the two of them walked away, the Doctor turned his attention back to Amy and Rory. "Ah, gosh this has all become rather complicated hasn't it? I think the first thing to determine is if you're sure you wouldn't want to stay how you are." He addressed Amy, "I mean, is it not a desired featured to appear younger than one's actual age?"

"Why the HELL," Amy glowered, "are you talking like bloody Spock? Nobody grown-up wants to look like they're in grade school. Maybe you want to look younger than you are if you're 900 and whatever-" (Handy snorted at this) "-but I'm only 21! Figure out some way to change me back!" She suddenly looked sad, and Eleven could only think of this same little girl sitting forlornly on her small suitcase in her garden. "Please?"

He kneeled down, looking little Amelia in the eyes. "I'll do my best. I promise."

"Really?" The words 'five minutes' were written plainly across he face.

He grasped her little hands. "Amy, trust me. I'm not going to abandon you."

Perhaps it wasn't the best time for Handy to cut in with a signature "Weeeellllllll...."

 "Don't start."

"Susan. Steven. Jamie. Zoe. Sarah Jane-"

"Stop it."

"Peri. Ace didn't really want me to leave her either. Jack. Rose."

"I said stop it!"

"Rose again. Me. Donna." There was a long pause. "I think that was all of them."

"I was a different man back-then," he said, barely suppressing his guilt as he coolly regarded the pinstriped man. "Clearly."

"We were always different men. That never stopped us."

The Doctor was about to respond with a sharp reply, but was stopped. "Oi! You're both being stupid." Little Donna stomped over, grabbing her 'father' by the hand. "And I still want to go to the park."

She gave Amy a look that said 'can you believe these two?', but the Scottish girl just looked worried.

"Doctor, you will be able to change me back, won't you?"

"Yes of course, I just need to...decide how. No need to worry yourself, I'm sure it'll only be a moment."

"You'll be fine." Handy interjected, as he pulled something from his pocket, "here, have an apple."

Eleven grabbed the fruit and scolded Handy. "Fruit has given me quite enough trouble today." He walked to the door and threw the apple like a grenade. "Now, what do we have going on here? Amy is a child. The former half me, half human is on the Tardis for some reason with his daugher, who he had with a companion and just happens to be the a child version of another companion. What am I missing? How are these things linked?

"It's simple. I can't believe how slow I become: Children. It's all to do with the children."

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"Yes that's all very well and good Doctor," Amy chipped in, "but we still need to find a way to get everything back the way it was."
"Yes, yes all right, I know. I'm thinking."
2 replies · active 745 weeks ago
While little Amelia might have had the mind of a 21 year old, she was still down to the emotional level of a 10 year old. "Well think faster! I'm married! That's not legal in the UK! I'll have to move to... to, Sudan! Or-" She broke off there as she burst into sobs.

"There, there." Said yet another new voice, as a man in a very long scarf patted her once or twice on the head before pulling a paper bag out of his pocket in offering. "Would you like a jelly baby?"
Amy sniffled loudly and rubbed her nose. "Yes please," she said either not noticing or not caring that Eleven and Handy were staring at the man in awe and annoyance. She poked through the bag and frowned. "There's no more orange ones."

"A common problem. Try a red one instead."
"Right, that's it!" Eleven burst out. "People are popping through all over the place! This...is...not...normal..." He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and began circling the control room, searching for something. Handy and Four watched him speechlessly, staring at the screwdriver, then looked at each other. "Well, that's a bit different from my day," Four commented, then went back to rummaging in the bag of jelly babies. Handy looked amused. "Compensating for something, mate?" he asked. Eleven ignored both of them, continuing to circle.

"All right," Handy said, after several moments of silence. "What are you looking for?"
11 replies · active 745 weeks ago
"Well there must be some kind of disturbance in space and time which is causing all of these characters from my past to appear. If I can only locate it, I should, if we're all very lucky, be able to reverse it and get everything back to how it should be."

"Well now," Four said, "perhaps I can be of some assistance there."
The entire TARDIS crew stared expectantly at him. "You see, there's been some sort of breach in space-time. The Master, I suspect, and the Time-Lords seem to have been rooting through my future- your past- thus creating this." He waved his hand grandly at the assembled mess of people.

"The Time-Lords?" asked Handy and Eleven in unison.

Rory looked confused. "Who?"

"Our species. Pompous lot if I ever knew one," explained Four, turning to his future selves. "My, you two look pale."
Handy looked away, picked up his daughter and walked as far from Four and Eleven as he could get in the control room. Eleven looked after him, sighed, and turned to Four. "They're dead. The whole planet's gone. It's just me. Well, us, I suppose. Don't ask me how, it's in your future, you know I can't tell you."

Four looked dumbstruck. Everyone was silent for several minutes. Then Four walked over to the screen mounted above the console. He turned a few knobs, then tapped the screen. "Yes, yes...I rather thought so. Look where we are. When we are." Eleven walked over. Handy, unable to resist his curiosity, came over as well. Both looked at the screen and at the same time burst out, "That's impossible!"
"But there's a Time Lock! We can't be here!" Handy exclaimed as he stared, awe struck and actually fairly horrified, at the coordinates on the screen. The coordinates of their long gone home planet.

Eleven glared at him for saying too much, but he waved his future self's warnings away. "He'll forget about all of this, you know that. We always do. "
"Time Lock? You lads must be mistaken," Four said, grinning smugly. "No Time Lock here. To even create a Time Lock big enough to enclose all of Gallifrey would be beyond the powers of the Daleks in any case. You'd need.... Well," he laughed, "even I don't know what you'd need to do that. And I'm the Doctor!"

"You'd need the Great Key of Rassilon," Eleven said quietly.

"And a modified De-mat Gun," Handy muttered, smoothing out his daughter's hair.

"And you'd need to keep running forever to keep the memories from catching up-"

"-because you'll never be able to sleep again-"

"-without dreaming of them." There was a long moment of silence. Eleven smiled suddenly, his voice almost chipper. "Or at least that's what I've heard! So! How do we get out?"
"Earth!" chirruped Donna.

Everyone turned to stare at her. "Well, its always Earth, isn't it? If something going to go kablewey, that's usually why."

"Very good," Four said approvingly.

"Especially for a such a little girl," agreed Amy. Rory couldn't help it; he laughed. His wife, using all the restraint of a ten-year-old-girl, kicked him in the shins.

Eleven, who realised that it was probably going to have to be his job to be the responsible one, went to Donna. "So what's Earth got to do with this whole Time-Lock buisness, then?"
Little Donna was about to answer when suddenly all the lights in the Tardis went dead. "Now what?" Eleven sighed, spinning back towards the center console.

Something pounded hard on the front door of the Tardis. "Open up!" a voice bellowed. "By the order of the Lord President Rassilon I order you to surrender to justice! You are surrounded!"
"What do we do now then?" Rory asked.
"Looks like we're going to have to go and say hello, they're not going to let us leave any time soon."
"But we can't all go," Handy interjected, "they're not going to look kindly on you bringing along your past self after all."
"I'm not staying in here while all the fun goes on out there." Four argued.
"Well, if we stay in here, they'll get us all. And that wouldn't be good," Eleven added, slightly unnecessarily.

"How about Amy and me go?"

"Amy and I," Ten corrected his daughter. "And no, absolutely not. I can't let two little girlllll-" he broke off when he saw Amelia's look, "you two girls go all alone."

"No, I think its a good idea- we're kids, they won't hurt us. We can pretend Donna just nicked the TARDIS, or something."

Everyone looked hesitant. "If Rassilon is in charge, that's doubtful, I'm afraid."

There was more heavy banging at the TARDIS doors, and some very demanding shouts. Rory shot his 'do something' look at Eleven. "Okay, okay, fine," said the man in the bow-tie. "I'll take Amy and Donna- everyone else- yes, that includes both of me- stay in the TARDIS. I don't want them knowing how warped the time-line has gotten."

Everyone looked set to argue, but Eleven grabbed the girls by the hand, waving at his companions to hide; and then the three of them marched to the door, and onto the surface of Gallifrey.
CLOSED!

Sorry this is so late. I woke up plagued.
Excellent place to end the chapter, though.

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